Committed

As a college student, it's important to have goals. Most instructors at the first of the year want you to tell them what kind of grade you will likely get in the class and then, if living in a world that you ruled, what you would actually get.  Obviously in the world that you ruled, you would get everything your little heart desired. Without all the blood, sweat, and tears.

Let's face it, the real world if vastly different. I might want that A in Spanish, but without putting in lots (and lots, and lots, and lots, and..) the odds of that happening are zilch. Goals are important. They give you a finished result to work towards, but on the other hand they can be all consuming or even non motivating.

I'm overweight. Hello, my name is Abby, and I'm chunky.

This is where you say Hi Abby, then hand me chocolate.

I spend approximately 25 minutes of my day riding on the bus. Most days, I spend that time thinking about work, school, my husband, my lack of social life, or trying to talk myself into talking to strangers today. Apparently that's a lesson that I learned a little too well as a child. Yet today I thought about what good grades I got last semester. About how, even when I didn't feel like it, I stayed up and I did homework, and I studied, and I got a tutor, and about the A's and B's I finished the semester with. I took a Pass or else attitude. I had to pass my classes. I have to maintain a high GPA to keep from getting kicked out of the program. I don't have a choice. I have too. If I want that job I keep dreaming about, I have to do it. Whether I feel like it or not.

I wonder, where I would be if I could learn how to put that same effort into weight loss. Where would you be? Could you be working on your own college degree? Could you be 30 pounds lighter? Could you have the job you wanted? If you just showed the same amount of time and commitment to yourself and your own body that you gave everything else, what could you have accomplished?

I could be 30 pounds thinner. I could be more than that. But instead, I'm still sitting here. Waiting on myself to commit to me.

Sounds goofy when you think of it that way, doesn't it? And yeah, it does. But, if I'm not happy, then that job, that college experience, that _______, doesn't matter.

Maybe, this year, my 32nd year, will be the year that I can learn to commit some time to me for me. Maybe, you can find the time to commit to yourself too.

"So, self, I've been thinking. We've been together a long time, and I really can't imagine my life without you. Without you, I'm just a body, an empty shell of a person without you by my side."

(Presents beautiful, sparkly, shiny ring in a Tiffany blue box)

"Will you marry me?"

Yes!

Now, maybe just a little tweak to my calendar here, and a pinch there and I can schedule in some time to sweat. Other than sex.