Monday, January 30, 2012

How Well Do You Really Know Somone

Today, my heart hurts. It was a long, emotionally draining weekend at my house.

Friday, my husband lost his job. Their reason, leadership. I'm not sure exactly what that means, and they couldn't really explain it to him either, so to sum it up, they wanted him gone. Awesome.

Then Friday night we had a scare where we thought my 11 year old niece had not came home from school. She was found, safe and sound with her mother, who didn't have custody. Thank goodness, she was safe.

Little did I know that was just the beginning.

Have you ever had that moment, either with a friend of a family member where they just did something so outrageous that you suddenly realized that you never really knew who they were? That suddenly you were looking at a stranger. You recognized the face, but the actions would have never been something that you would have expected that person capable of.

I keep looking and thinking back trying to tell myself that signs weren't there, that there was nothing that any of us could have done to prevent this, or any signs that we ignored that it was happening. I hope we weren't so clueless.

Simply, because it is an ongoing investigation and my sweet 11 year old niece needs to learn to put her life back together. Because suddenly she has lived through things that I can't even begin to imagine, I can't say much because it is an ongoing investigation.

But, do me a favor, send some prayers to her, her little brother, and her mother. They are going to need some extra bursts of strength to help them make it through the coming weeks and months. Then say a few for the rest of her family that loves her. We are all having a hard time dealing with this as we trusted and loved someone who hurt her deeply.

Then, say a tiny prayer for my husband and I, and that he will find a job soon. Something that makes him happy. Because even though my job drives me crazy, when I actually have stuff to do, I love it.

Friday, January 27, 2012

5 Question Friday

Well, I would love to be all bubbly and sarcastic today, but alas, I have a cold, allergy, sinus thing going on that is annoying/pissing me off. So instead I'm going to be rambly and probably whiny.

No big plans this weekend, except homework (and pimping out my totally awesome digital scrapbooking giveaway). If you haven't already go enter. Hurry!

Sometimes I have missed homework and other times, well, not so much. It's kinda like an ex - you have fond memories and feelings for them, and other times you would like to have the ability to grind them into a greasy little pulp and walk away.

Note to self: no more cold meds.

1. Do you swim in the winter?

I would gladly swim year round. Just give me an indoor pool. Notice I said give. I love to swim. Love it. I suck at it, but I love it. All that water, it's just so relaxing and soothing. And totally fun.

Outside - do the words not a chance in hell mean anything to you?!?!  I don't do anything outside during the winter. I would prefer tunnels to get me from my front door to my truck or wherever else it is that I'm going. If I lived somewhere were it was like 90 during the winter. You bet.

2. Do you love or hate winter?

Define hate. If we could skip it, it wouldn't hurt my feelings at all. I like snow, and I'm good with like a week of winter, but after that, please transport me to spring like temperatures. 80's in the afternoon, and well, we can have the lows slightly cooler. But otherwise, I wouldn't complain if the earth jumped on it's axis and we just skipped over it every year.

3. Do you put makeup/actual clothes on when you know you're going to be home all day with just family?

Nope. My husband has seen me when I have to get up and be human on very little sleep. I figure that I was scarier then than I am after a shower, so he usually doesn't get the makeup and fussiness that I usually go through when we are just hanging out at home. And depending on any surprise activities as to whether those people get the makeup and good clothes or not. Usually it's not.

4. How old were you when you had your first alcoholic beverage?

See, right about now all of you moms out there are going to groan. Loudly and tell my mom what a complete goober she was. But - her theory worked.

See my mom actually would buy alcohol for me to try. Her theory was that she would rather I try it at home than feel the need to experiment with my friends and get in way over my head. Thus taking away the need to "sneak" around. Now, out in public, no, she wouldn't buy me a drink. But I've tasted of hers for as long as I could remember. And if there was ever anything I wanted to try, she would get it.

Now, I can count on one hand the number of alcoholic beverages that I've had in the last 2 years. I don't know if her theory continues to work, but it's just not a big deal to me to have it.

5. How many ill calls in a 12 month period do you think are acceptable?
See, and I hate to even comment on this question. I have worked at my current job for almost 3 years. I've called in sick twice.
As long as you can do your job the way it needs to be done, and your not calling in every week, then just go with it.
But....there are these people who call in every couple of weeks and those drive me crazy. I have always tried to only call in when I was seriously sick, or when I completely and totally just needed a day off. It's always worked for me. But if I had to pick a number, I would say that if you work 40+ hours per week, that you should get 1ish per month. That doesn't mean that every 3rd Friday you should call in sick, but you should at least get 10-12 per year with no questions asked.
Have a happy Friday!

Thursday, January 26, 2012


I have attempted to make a couple of scrapbooks. I have hated every blasted minute. About the time I was halfway through I wanted to just toss the whole thing in the trash and pretend that I had never even attempted it in the first place. I didn't know how to put the pictures together and make it look good, instead of like I had tried to cram too many, or not enough pictures.

After this My Memories digital scrapbooking software, I'm reformed. I'm in lust. I'm in love. I'm in so much trouble.

I have spent the last week playing around with this software designing a few pages, and all I can say is wow. And then wow again.

This is fabulous. It's awesome. It's so easy that even a busy college student who didn't like scrapbooking can do it.

The bonus, I've spent the better part of several days playing around with it and designing a ton of pages.

And I'm so happy with the digital scrapbooking software and some of my results. These are some of my early attempts, and while they seem very plain, I just wanted you to see how easy it was to create some great looking pages.

There are even more features than just designing your own pages for scrapbooks. You can add video and other multimedia, you can even add music and narrate your book. How totally awesome is that. Then to make it all permanent you can make your album ipod ready or you even have the option of saving it to a DVD.

It's like doing all the work on paper without all of the mess and clutter that each of the pages would take up and all the doodads and thingamabobs that you can add to a real book, you can do here. Brads, ribbons, I think that they only think it can't do is cook my dinner and clean up the kitchen. But that's what this guy is for.

The bonus - one of my lucky readers will with their very own copy of this digital scrapbooking software for absolutely free. And the bonus to that is that even if you aren't a scrapbook lover, I would highly encourage you to enter to win. Simply because I wasn't a fan of scrapbooking, but I'm loving this!

To enter: simply visit My Memories and look at all of their paper packs and layouts, then find your favorite and leave the name (or names) of it in the comments section. I will draw the results and post them next Thursday February 1st! You can only enter the drawing once, and make sure that I have a way to contact you, because if you don't claim your prize, then I'll choose someone else!

Legal stuff: I wasn't paid for this promotion, they approached me, and I'll admit that I was leery, but after playing around on their website and seeing all of the great options, I decided to give it a whirl. I wasn't paid for my opinions, but they are completely and totally my own, and I love their website, the additional options as well as the software itself.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


I like to read. Ok, let me rephrase that I like to read trashy romance novels, murder, suspense, and a variety of other books. I don't like to read about history, I did that in high school. I don't like to read about President McKinley's murder, even though it does involve murder, it also involves politics, which I'm not a fan of.

And just for the record, I'm not to crazy about marketing and managerial accounting either.

So tonight, while I sleep I'm going to dream that all of this stuff comes to life and transforms itself into romance, or murder (without the politics). Because accounting hooking up with marketing at a tropical locale sounds so much more appealing to read. Pssst...look for the surprise ex lover, the balance sheet, showing up trying to thwart romance attempts.

Stay tuned for news tomorrow about my totally awesome digital giveaway. Details on Thursday!!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Dear Robber

Dear Robber,

Several weeks ago you broke into my husband's office. You determined that he has personally wronged you in some way and that the most effective way for you to get your revenge was to break in to his office and steal equipment, parts, and just make a general mess. However, this time the jokes on you.

See, if you had really knew your former boss/co-worker you would know that none of that stuff in his office means anything to him. Sure he would be disappointed, but otherwise, it's just stuff. Stuff can be replaced. Everything that you damaged or stolen will eventually be replaced, so you actually did him a favor by allowing him for upgrades that he would have otherwise never gotten.

Your lay-off or termination wasn't personally his doing. He has a boss too, one that often gives him orders that he would rather not follow through with. There are days when he would love to let you continue to work, but sometimes the people who sign his paycheck say differently. So he does what he has to do so that he can provide for his family. Which isn't all that different from your actions, except that you committed a felony, and he just hurt your pride.

So, Mr. Robber, you might think that you accomplished something, but other than finding a very non-productive manner for your rage, you really didn't accomplish much. And now, his revenge will be when you are punished for the crime/s that you have committed. Sure, you might escape capture here on earth, but God has the final say. I'm sure He won't be pleased with your choice, but that's between you and him. See, Mr. Robber, my husband's already forgiven you. He's already moved on and began to rebuild his office. Please know that we will pray for you and those who will be hurt by your actions should you ever be caught, because just about everyone who comes through those doors has a family, and they would be devastated by your actions. I hope your mama is proud of your career choice.

Thank you for reminding us of what is important. Office supplies weren't it.


The Normals'

Monday, January 23, 2012

How Long is Too Long

I've whined on here a variety of times about issues that we have had with my inlaws. They have ranged from simple things like hurt feelings or bigger things like that World War that has gone on for the better part of last year.

Saturday things started out fairly normally for us. We had an early appointment to take our dogs to the groomers. And by early I mean, it should be evil and illegal to get up at 7am on a Saturday morning. We decided that we were going to stop by a local supermarket that has a deli and makes fabulous breakfast quesadillas. Little did we know the interesting turn that day would take.

John's sister, who was a former employee, was back working in the deli. Talk about surprises. We weren't expecting to see her there, and neither of us was sure how we should react. We chatted with her a little, but not much. We sat down and had breakfast, and as we were preparing to leave, John's parents (whom I hadn't seen or talked to since July) walked in. Talk about surprise. We sat at United and chatted with them for quite some time, then the kicker. They invited us over for dinner.

Yeah, I know. We agreed, simply because we couldn't talk amongst ourselves without them overhearing.

We debated about it the better part of the afternoon until we got a text message asking for us to bring some items to contribute to dinner. Here was the opportunity to get out of dinner if we needed to.

Neither of us wanted the last year to have been swept under the rug and things just to sorta trudge along. We wanted all of the issues from the last year, and honestly from the beginning of our marriage to be all nice and worked out and finished for once. So John sent a text message about how we needed to deal with all of this, and would they be willing to have this conversation over dinner tonight. They agreed.

I don't know about John, but I was really worried about how things were going to go. Amazingly so, they went better than I could have thought. I think that John's parents have a better understanding of our marriage, and of several other issues.

We did get some insight into problems with his brother and wife and sister. Which over the course of the next few weeks/months we will be sitting down and working things out with them as well. It's not something I'm looking forward too, in fact it's something that I dread, more so with the siblings than with the inlaws.

There is a lot of misunderstandings all around. A lot. And there is a lot of people who don't have the guts (myself included) to comment to the person that they have the problem with and attempt to work things out. Which I could understand when we got married, Brad and I were young, there was a lot going on in his family at the time that it was easy to just sweep it under the rug and never deal with it. So we did. And 12 years later we are finally attempted to deal with it.

I'm hoping that the next several months will allow us to at least attempt to repair these relationships, and allow us to, in a since start over. Because to be honest, I haven't attempted much effort in the last few years to get to know any of them. It all seemed like it went down hill and that I got tired of trying, and I got tired of it always being my fault. No matter what happened, it was always my fault. That wasn't something that thrilled me either. So here's hoping that we can all put on our big girl/boy panties and deal with this stuff now, once and for all.

Friday, January 20, 2012

5 Question Friday

Greetings Earthlings! Hope that your Friday has just been so full of awesome that you are about to burst from the wonderfulness of it all.

I'm enjoying the 70+ degree weather we have had, as long as you don't mind the bits of dirt that come with it. Just don't open your mouth, eyes, or breathe and you'll be fine.

Not much planned for this weekend, just going to work on getting things organized and put together for school to kick into high gear next week.  I've got some shopping to do for work, which is always fun. Or not. I'm going to go invade a friends house and take her some Christmas care packages for her and her sweet kids. I'm going to attempt to get in a couple of rounds of kickboxing. That about sums it all up.

Now, without further ado...

1. Where do you hide the reeeally good snacks?

I put fat free stickers on them. Then the guys I work with won't touch them. Or I hide it in a plastic container under my desk.

I don't have to hide snacks from my husband. Well, I didn't used to. But after cleaning out our snack cabinet and discovering that he had eaten all of a particular something, I just might have to start hiding them.

I can't hide them much or I'll forget about them, and that would defeat the whole purpose.

2. Do u keep your vehicle clean or am I the only one who has things falling out of their van?

My obsession for a clean house, thankfully runs to a car too. My truck stays fairly clean. We try to take it and dust, vacuum and thoroughly clean the inside about twice a year. The back gets kinda messy with all those recyclable bags that a local grocery store gives you a discount on. But other than that, nothing falls out.
3. Have you ever been to Vegas?

Yes, twice. And I loved it. We actually gambled very little, there is just so much other stuff to see and do that gambling is worthless. The first time we went, we went to see my husband's grandparents who live there.

The second time we went, was when his grandfather passed away. We hadn't planned on anything fun that trip, simply because of the reason that we were going, but due to some misunderstanding, the issues with my inlaws coming to a head, or some other reason I'm not aware of; we were kinda ignored one day, which led to us hanging out on the strip most of the day. We shopped, we took tons of pictures, we hung out, it was amazing. I would love to go back and do it again, and have several days to really explore and wander around the strip and in and out of the casinos.

4. Warm room light blankets or cold room warm snuggly blanket?

I'm usually cold. Even in the summer. So I have a couple of awesome fleece blankets that I made that I cuddle up under and do whatever it is I'm doing. If we are talking at night, when I'm sleeping. I like it cold. I sleep more soundly and sleep better if the room is cold than if it is comfortable with only light blankets.
5. What is the worst airplane/flying experience you've ever had?

There have been several. I'm not a flyer. I thought I might could have been, but the first time I flew was fairly uneventful, until the return flight home.

We had bad turbulence the whole way from Florida to Texas. It was awful. They couldn't serve drinks or anything like that it was so bumpy. We finally landed, which was awful too and I swore I wouldn't fly again. Every time we would hit turbulence the plan would do a nose dive and then a few seconds later a vertical climb. I'm pretty sure that not a single person on that plane thought that we would live through it. Then a couple of weeks later, that pilot and jet crashed due to her error.

I have flown a few other times, and I manage to do okay, but it's not my first choice. I don't think it would ever be my first choice.

Happy Friday! Stay tuned for details about an awesome giveaway!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Letting Go

After yesterdays long, drawn out, soul bearing post your probably afraid to read this one.

Fear not. I'm back to normal. Well, as normal as I can be. Which is probably not near any normal according to standard industry ratings.

Yesterday was just one of those days when I needed to whine. And when I needed a good butt chewing apparently.

You know that phrase, can't see the forest for the trees. Well, that was me yesterday. I saw the bad everywhere. I saw the worst in myself everywhere, and when you only see the bad, your attitude and everything else just plain sucks. Including your outlook on life in general.

My good friend, who I'm pretty sure is actually my sister and we were just separated at birth, sent me a message about my little post yesterday. She gave me a good butt chewing, and a big dose of perspective. So I guess the 2 tons of pressure that I was feeling yesterday, that I seem to have lost today, I can thank her for.

I have to learn to let go. I've had to learn how to let go of cooking dinner and doing laundry and cleaning, at least the majority of the time, simply because I can't do everything and go to school at the same time. I have to set priorities, I have to manage my time wisely if I want to have enough time to study and do everything else. So I had to learn how to let go of that stuff, and I had to learn to deal with the guilt that I feel when I watch my husband dust and vacuum so that I can study. I've had to learn how to handle that the best way that I can. Which, I'll admit I don't always do. I remember laying in bed one night last semester crying because of the guilt that I felt that I couldn't do everything. After some reassurance from my husband that no, in fact, he didn't resent me for making him chase dust bunnies and wreck spider homes, I felt much better.

My first semester left me feeling like I could conquer the world, and last semester left me wondering if I had lost my mind, and everything else along the way. Those grades hurt. They hurt to admit, and I felt like everyone was just telling me that they were ok, and that they were secretly thinking what a moron I was. When realistically, because all of my friends are old, they don't really care, as long as I pass, so that I can graduate and move back out of the college life and into the middle aged life.

I realize that all of the cliches of "Finding yourself" and all of that go along with college. You learn how to do laundry and be an adult without mommy and daddy looking over your shoulder and guarding your every move. Yet, since I've been there, done that, maybe college will be about me learning to let go. Maybe its not about me finding myself, but about finding out who I'm not and who I don't want to be for the rest of my life. Maybe it's about learning to let go.

I know that my feeling sorry for myself has affected my blogging ability. I actually have a bunch of posts that I wrote, and that were supposed to publish, but for whatever reason blogger saw fit to ignore my advance scheduling. Maybe because I needed that post yesterday more than I realized.

There are exciting things coming. I was approached by a digital scrapbooking company (more details next week) about hosting a giveaway (which will be coming up week after next). I'm looking for a couple other giveaways for the next year. Stick around, things just might get interesting.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

A Beginning

When I started writing this post today, I promised myself that no matter how much I didn't want to, when I was done that I would actually print publish, instead of adding it to the rather large collection of drafts that I seem to have acquired in the last few weeks. This post is probably going to require that you pack a lunch, and make a day out of it. Just so you know.

Where do I begin?

That's a really good question. One that I don't have the answer to. I used to think I did, but now, well now I'm not so sure.

Today, well let's face it, assuming we are being honest here, for a long time I've been...well for lack of a better term; lost. And miserable.

Sure, (just so my husband and parents don't panic) there have been times where there has been contentment, happiness, pure, unadulterated joy, but those moments, they are so rare anymore that it's hard to see them at the moment, it's days later that I realize how perfect those moments were. About how at that particular moment everything clicked, everything fit. Everything was perfect.

Some days I hate that I have that Type A personality. That everything has to be perfect. I honestly wish I could be more go with the flow. That things like C's and burnt chicken didn't hurt me. Because realistically, who cries over C's. Most people are happy to pass and move on. I'm happy to pass, but those C's just made me feel like a failure. Like I was less, and add that to everything else, it's been down right hard to get enthusiastic about a whole new set of classes that start tomorrow. For the first time in my life, I'm not excited about school. In fact, I dread tomorrow with the same amount of passion as I do/did with having to go to funerals, memorial services of the people that I love.

I guess, since my posting has been sporadic, this post is going to be too. Sorry.

I'm so unhappy with so many areas of my life, that some days, it's all I can do to go to work and come home and fix dinner without bursting into tears a half a dozen times. And right now, I feel so powerless to do anything about it.

I've also discovered that there are things that are annoying me worse than I thought that they were. Like the issues with my inlaws. As much as I hate to admit it, even to myself, it bothers me more than I wanted to realize. I have slowly allowed it, along with other issues to eat away at my self-esteem and my self-worth. I realized that a few days ago. See, I'm the peacemaker, when everybody is pissed off at each other, it's usually me that jumps in and tries to smooth the ruffled feathers and get everyone back to being happy again. I can't do that this time. Simply because those involved see me as part of the problem...probably won't see me as the solution if I try to "fix" things like I always have. Plus it's hard knowing that the grandmother-in-law that loved you and cared for you, can also turn against you when it suits her purposes. This is one of those things that I can't fix, and letting go of that has been nearly impossible, but I realized that I'm going to have to let it go if I want to reclaim my life, and myself in the process.

I was sick the week before Christmas. Thanks to the stomach cramps that were purely the devil at work, and barfing up some of the foulest smelling stuff possible, a trip to the doctor was prompted, because I didn't want my gallbladder or any other internal organ to be planing it's untimely escape and me be oblivious. I felt so bad that I even called in sick to work. For the 2nd time in 3 years. (The first time being when I was in the hospital for the equivalent of dysentery.)

:sigh: I can't believe I'm about to put this out there on the internet for all the world to see. It's no surprise to the people who know me and read this blog, but to the rest of the world, it might be or then again maybe not. I'm overweight. Not just pleasantly plump, but if I were to be at the top of my healthy weight range, I would have lost a person. Like a 154ish pound person. It just hurts my heart to type that out. Anyway, back to the doctor. She ordered blood work to make sure that there weren't any other problems as well as checking insulin, glucose, and cholesterol. I'm pleased with the cholesterol numbers, some of the categories weren't were they should be, but it's a big improvement over where they were when she first did that blood work a few years ago. My good cholesterol was through the roof (once again, my theory that the low fat/preservatives stuff played an issue might actually have some truth here). However, my insulin was too high. 22 and it needs to be 20 or less. It's not a big concern, and it's not even considered pre-diabetic. But it was definitely a wake-up call. One that I didn't care to get. But apparently I needed a health scare to get my head wrapped around the fact that loosing weight was no longer my choice. It wasn't a should anymore, it was now a must.

sucky grades of last semester and WHAM! (Insert failure here).

School. Like I said previously, I dread tomorrow. I can't find a single shred of excitement. Just dread. Lots and lots of dread. See, even though no one else thinks so, I failed last semester. My first semester was hard, it was tons of work, there were tears, there were lots of days of constant work and where I was pretty sure I was going to drown. But I pulled it all out with A's and B's. Made the dean's list. Then my girlfriend tells me that it's not a big deal, she did it too. No body cared. Then last semester, oh my goodness. Last semester. I hated my classes, I hated my professors. I hated with a passion. So my grades suffered because I was unhappy. Hopefully I didn't make that mistake this semester too. I'm taking classes that I was excited about when I signed up for them. Sure, there's a few, like statistics that I'm not looking forward too. It's math, it's hard to get excited about math. But the accounting, marketing, science and history classes I was actually looking forward to them.

Yet right now, I can't get that giant F off of my forehead. No, not for Freak, but for Failure. Those 3 C's are just eating away at me. I don't get C's. Period. I've only gotten C's in math classes, and that was always okay. I got C's in regular classes too. Spanish, Economics, and Business Calculus. But those 3 C's make me want to curl up into a ball in a corner and cry and not come out for 20 or 30 years. It makes me want to think, "you can't do this" "you are such an idiot" "who are you kidding" "you won't ever finish" "your just going to be a failure". Some days I succeed in telling that little voice to jump off a cliff, and other days, well, other days that little voice wins. And it takes another chunk of my self worth with it.

So where does that leave me?

Exactly where I am. I have convinced myself that I can do nothing right. I can't write, so why even attempt to write blog posts. Why even participate in 5 Question Friday, when I can't write, when I'm not really funny. I am so sure that I have annoyed some good friends of ours, who in a few short months have became more like family than friends. I'm so sure that I will never be able to lose weight that I'm just destined to be fat forever. I'm so sure that I'm going to fail all my classes. And I'm so sure that when I do, all these people are going to line up and tell me "I told you so".

And no, this isn't a ploy for the few people who still pop in and read my blog from time to time to give me some props about how great I am. Because let's face it, the posts that I wrote a year ago were a whole lot better than the garbage I've attempted to do over the last year. Those posts meant something, the posts now, not so much.

This was and is about being honest, with myself and with the few people who still pop in and read from time to time. It's about trying to dig out of this hole I have dug myself into. It's about trying to find me again, and not just the shell of the person I used to be. It's about trying to make peace with my life and move forward and rebuild the life I want and not look back in 6 months and think that I should have tried harder, like I seem to find myself doing constantly for the last year. I say that a lot to myself. I should have. I would really like to change that into I am or better yet, I did.

To the family and friends that will read this: I promise, I'm okay. I'm not crazy, I'm not contemplating suicide or anything wonky like that. I talked to the doctor about it when I went to see her 3 weeks ago. She said that it's a lot of things, but she doesn't think it's depression or anything like that. Frankly I don't either. I just think that the last year has held so many changes, so many things that are out of my control that I'm trying to find myself and my footing and let's face it my self worth and confidence again.

I'm not sure where that leaves me. Other than in need of a good couch and a crazy doctor. Okay, probably not really, but still. You never know. I realize that I always put me on the back burner. I typically take care of everyone else, and leave me for last, but that's just me. I just didn't realize that I've been doing it for so long that I've let myself take a back seat that I now think of myself as being less important than they are. Don't get my wrong, I still intend to take care of the people in my life that need to be taken care of, but at the same time, I'm adding my name to that list too. I'm a priority too. And if I want to be treated like one, perhaps the first step is in making myself a priority too.

Friday, January 6, 2012

5 Question Friday

It's official. Less than 2 weeks until I'm back in "college" mode again. I'm not looking forward to the homework. I'm looking forward to graduating. Hopefully that will sustain me another semester.

Today, I'm hopeful that I can pick out a new, cheap, but awesome cell phone. My blackberry is the worlds biggest piece of junk. I got email today that was actually sent last year. Awesome.

So my weekend is going to entail spending hours (because I never make it out of Sprint without standing in line for at least 90 minutes) in line to get 2 new phones, that hopefully all features work on. I'm going to do some cooking, some delivering of Scentsy, and some laundry. Otherwise, nothing big planned, just trying to take it easy and relax and get a few things done around the house, as next weekend is my last weekend before homework.

Hope you are having an awesome 2012. If not, don't worry, the worlds going to end anyway. : )

1. What is the weather like where you are and do you like it?
The weather is sucky. Well, it's probably not that bad, but when you would prefer a balmy 72 degrees, it is awful. Our high today is 60ish. But we have a 40% chance of snow and rain for Monday. Oh goody. I just can't hardly contain my excitement. I'm overjoyed.

Gag me...preferably with a snow shovel.

2. When you're sick what do you seek comfort from?

The doctor. She has all the good drugs. Actually it depends on what ails me. Typically a little sympathy, some love from my husband and then LEAVE ME ALONE and I won't have to kill you, usually works best.

If it's stomach issues, don't touch me, don't move me, don't breath on me. Ask me if I need something every few hours, but otherwise leave me alone. Until I feel like some sympathy. But don't worry, I'll let you know.

If it's a cold, then I'm usually good with just sympathy from my husband. I'm less likely to kill for you bugging me when I have a cold..only maim. I'm kidding. Maybe.

3. What do you need to do before the end of the month?
Win the lottery. Win the lottery again. Win the lottery for a 3rd time. (Then wash, rinse and repeat for next month and the month after that and the month after that....repeat)

Go back to school. Mail all the birthday cards (preferably on time this month). Find my backpack.

Probably should look for my sanity too. I'm pretty sure I laid it down somewhere and the dust bunnies hid it.

4. Have you ever served on a jury?

Hell no. I beg, I plead, I even brag on facebook, hoping for a jury summons. But nope. Can't freaking get one to save my life. I so want to get jury duty so I can have them fry some deserving bastard. They should just march them out of the court room after a guilty verdict, and strap them down and BAM! out they go. Solves overcrowding of jails, and tax payer dollars. Plus, let's me watch the books that I read come to life. Then I could make up some story and become a bestselling author.

Then not only would I be cute, but I'd be famous too. And rich, after winning the lottery 3 times this month.

5. If you could be any animal, what would you be and why?

I'd be my dogs. They have it so easy. The poop in my yard, they puke on my carpet, they get my sheets dirty, they drag out their toys, and they don't do anything to clean any of it up. They get better treats and food than I do. They get up each morning to send me off to work, then they lay around the house all day napping, only to be let out again when I get home at 5 and then they come back in for love and another nap.

I just realized that I'm maid. However, they don't pay me. I pay them.

Yep, definitely want to be a dog.

Things that Annoy

We all have them. Those lovely little ticks that make us, well us. What annoys us is what keeps someone else sane. Isn't that a pleasant thought. After yesterdays heartbreaking post, I figured I needed something with a little more sarcasm.
10. Toilet paper and paper towel rolls. They don't replace themselves. And if you use it replace it, but for the love of all that is good and holy, please hang it the right way.

9. Boys and tall, old little boys men and their need to find humor in farts. It's a bodily function, one which isn't cute, ever. Yes, everyone does it. But seriously. Not that funny.

8. Driving and texting. You aren't that important and whatever you absolutely think you need to type while your driving isn't worth my life. Your not Angelina Jolie. Trust me that love note to Brad can wait.

7. Mosquito's. Other than suck the life out of you, kinda like children, they serve no greater purpose. If I ruled the world, all the bugs, gone. Sorry little guys. (ok, not really)

6. Snakes and mice. See #7

5. Waiters and Waitresses who come buy as you get your food and ask if you want more to drink. No, I just ordered something spicy and I prefer to do without water until I leave here. Besides that potted plant has water. I'm good.

4. Hardware stores and mechanics. Because I'm a woman I'm an idiot, at least that is what some of those people think. Amazingly so I know quite a bit about cars and building various things. So I can probably build you a house and cook you a gourmet meal, but please don't ask me where my "man" is. Otherwise you might find yourself unemployed, because it wouldn't be the first time that I find your boss and scream discrimination and breasts in the same sentence.

3. Commercials. Seriously, who comes up with these things. Animals smashed on a road that come back to life. Singing gecko. Um no.

2. Complaining that I wear perfume to work. I'm a girl. It's my job to wear scented lotions, body washes, and yes, even perfume. I also take showers daily and know the difference between a napkin and my pants. So because I prefer to smell pleasant instead of like I just stepped out of a beer filled dumpster, deal with it. Or stay in your office.

And the number one thing that annoys me: (at least today)

1. People who bring their children to work, then think that because I have nothing better to do, can play babysitter to their 4 year old. Your child is obnoxious, kinda like you are. I'm paid to do the books, not watch your child too.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Newsflash: Life's Not Always Fair

I wanted to post this before Christmas, and I thought about just hanging on to it until this year, but I really wanted to post it, so here you go. Just think of it as either being really early or really late. Take your pick.

Sometimes it's easy to see how unfair life is when things don't go our way. It's hard to see the good in our lives when we are frustrated or unhappy about the direction that things are going. Instead we whine, we cry and we complain. And to some people our bouts of crazyness seem, well crazy, yet to others, they seem rational. Where's the balance?

Today I witnessed several people on Facebook (don't judge, I have no homework and nothing to do at work, so I'm married to Facebook from 8-5) complaining about a variety of things that were still on their to-do list before Sunday. Shopping, wrapping, cleaning, baking. The list was endless.

Yes, I'll be the first to admit that I have a huge to-do list of my own. But, I also know that if it doesn't happen, the world won't come to an end and Christmas won't be ruined. Life will go on. Christmas will go on.

I used to be all gung-ho about everything being perfect. Then I started back to college at 30 and realized that I would have to learn to prioritize and let things go. Some things would be worth the hassle, and in the end, other things would wait. I quit wrapping Christmas presents years ago. It stresses me out. I hate doing it. My packages look like a 2 year old wrapped them. So I started "cheating" and doing gift bags. It took me all of 45 minutes to bag up everything, and actually wrap 4 gifts. It was easy, it was quick, and most importantly, I was happy.

This year we cut out a lot of gift giving. We scaled way, way back. Not because of the economy, but because I'm a full time college student, and I couldn't shop all year long like I usually do. I manage to find great little deals and hold onto them for next year. Which usually allows us to be extravagant for little money. This year, most of my shopping has been done since Thanksgiving, and I'm even happy to admit, I'm still not quite through. I'm not stressed about it. I'm just thankful that we both work, and that we have the means to provide gifts for the family that we did.

Yes, I'll admit, we didn't do anything for John's family. With the lack of communication, and the space that we are all taking great advantage of, I didn't do anything for any of them. I don't feel bad about that either.

So I posted on Facebook today, and thought it might be relevant to some of you reading this post too.

I'm amazed at how many people are complaining today about the things that they feel like they have to do in order for Christmas to not completely and totally fall apart. Christmas should be about celebrating, not about stressing out. I'm pretty sure that God doesn't care if the presents are wrapped, the cookies are baked, or the gifts for our friends and family are bought. I'm pretty sure that he's more concerned about the real reason for Christmas, which as nothing to do with the above mentioned items. Perhaps we should take a step back and remember that Christmas is about celebrating the birth of a savior, not about the packages under the tree.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Life Goes On

This year has been full of suck. There has been death, dismemberment, and other all around general things that I would really prefer not to repeat.

Well, ok, there really hasn't been dismemberment, but those words just go together when you work in a sheetmetal shop.

It's been a year of moments, hours, days, and weeks that I wouldn't want to repeat. Yet, I have found myself wishing this year away in hopes that when the clock strikes midnight on December 30, that 2012 wouldn't hold the same amount of suck that 2011 has.

Then the Wednesday before Thanksgiving that all changed. Because let's be honest. No matter how bad things are in your own life, they can always get worse. Always.

A good friend of mine (who I'm pretty sure is my sister and we were just separated at birth) lost a childhood friend the day before Thanksgiving. Suddenly my year wasn't so bad after all. Yet at the same time her year hit rock bottom.

I look at the pictures of my childhood friend, whom I have known since Kindergarten and I wonder what I would do if something happened to her. I've known her 5 less years than I've been alive. 27 years we have been friends. 27 years. Suddenly someone my age dying made me feel very, very old.

I've spent over half of this year wishing it were over. Wishing that I could just hit the fast forward button and get to 2012 and it would be better. The last week, I have wished I could hit the pause button and savor some of these moments for the next 20 years and let 2012 show up later. Much, much later.

I've been so lost, and partially found and lost again since Papa died in July. Well, let's face it, probably when Grandpa died in April. There has been so much heartache, anger and hurt wrapped into this year that I would love to put it all behind me. However, just because I flip another page over in the calender, doesn't mean that things will be better. It will still be the exact same, except for the date I write on everything at work and school.

Whether or not I want next year to be better or not, has nothing to do with the year. It has everything to do with me and my attitude towards the problems that I face. I can choose to wallow in self pity and other emotions and suddenly I'll wake up and it's June and I'll think that this has been the worst 6 months of my life. When in reality, it was partly my choice to leave it that way.

This year has seen both heartache, joy, triumph, sadness, and laughter. Just like the last 32 have seen. 2012 could be better, it could be the same, or it could be infinitely worse. Some things are out of my control, but how I react to them, how I dwell on them, or move on, is entirely up to me.


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