Friday, April 29, 2011

5 Question Friday

Yes, I know. I promised blog posts and I didn't deliver. But think about things this way. 5 more days. May 9th, is my last day of school until August. So you know what that means right? Yes, I will give you things to read. Hopefully I will come up with enough awesome ideas to save a few things for the fall so I can write a few, and squeeze a few saved ones in. Yes, it's cheating, but as long as you have something to read you won't show up on my front porch and threaten bodily harm. So sometimes, beggars can't be choosers.

So be patient for 1 more week and a day. You guys are so full of awesome, it's scary.  I have a busy weekend planned, I have to head to my hometown, where my parents still live to deliver a Scentsy order on Saturday, then it's just gearing up and studying for finals. I'm going to do some cleaning one of those two days, and I have some plants that I bought that I must replant before they croak. Yeah, that wasn't a brilliant idea on my part. Oops.

1. If you could buy any car, money not an option, what would it be?

Hmmm, this is tough. I like my truck that I have now. It screams I am woman hear me roar! But I miss having a truck. A place to put items other than the tiny back seat that my "extended" cab has.

So I would probably end up with an SUV. I like the Traverse and the Corvette. But the corvette isn't exactly an SUV, but if money weren't an option, then I could afford to pay the speeding now it's a whole new ball game. Hmmmm.

2. What was your worst first date ever?

Brace yourself people. This is BAD.

When I was dating the guy that introduced me to my husband, our very first date. He didn't make a good impression. It's a good thing that he was a nice guy, otherwise I might not have ended up with my husband.

We met up (we lived in 2 different towns at the time) and hung out for a while. I had some errands to run in the big city and he went with me. Then he took me to meet his friend John (my now husband). Then we went to a local supermarket where Brandon (bad date) bought lunchables.

Now, I know what you are thinking - "that's not so bad. Lunchables aren't good, but they aren't that bad." And your right. He asks me my opinion about which flavors I liked, and we got ready to check out, and he turns and looks at me and asks if I wanted some too, I better get them. Because the 4 he bought, those were for HIM.

So after that, I only used him for John. So even though it was the absolute worst first date ever, it ended up being the beginning of a relationship with John. Because John went on every date Brandon and I had. Even our first one.
3. How old were you when you fell in love for the first time?

I have sat here pondering this question for a good 20 minutes. There have been crushes and there have been those teenage years where it changes on a weekly basis. But as I sat here pondering this question, I realized that I have only honestly been in love twice.

The first time, I was probably only hours old. He was a much older man, around 57 years old. But, I adored him. I followed him everywhere. I went to work, I went to town, I went everywhere that I could. There were times when he wasn't my favorite person in the world, and there were times that I was pretty sure my world revolved around him. And until 8 years ago, when he left this world for his eternal home, did I fully understand that my world did revolve around him. And how empty parts of my life have been without him. On the other hand, I can almost feel him walking next to me when I walk around TTU everyday. Because I just know that he is sitting somewhere watching  me and pointing out to everyone around him, "See that girl right there, the one in the pink shirt. That's my grand-daughter. Isn't she amazing?" You can hear the pride, and the awe in his voice. And see the Beech-Nut pouch in his hand.

The second person - my husband. Who, after the events of the last few weeks (more on those later) has shown me a new side of himself that has reminded me why I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him in the first place.

4. When was the last time you reconciled your checkbook?

I do it weekly. It's called online banking. Welcome to the 21st Century! We also have these new-fangled things called computers, and cars that talk to you, and....

I only write like 4 checks a month, everything else is on our Debit card. So I just get online and look to see what's made it through and how much money there is in our account and poof, I'm done. Does anyone really actually do this anymore?

Now at work, unfortunately I have to do it every month. It's one of the few things I hate about my job.

5. If you were going to fashion a "Wanted" Ad for a best friend, how would you word it?

Wanted: Best Friend.
Looking for candidate who likes to do something crafty so we can on occasion get together and cross stitch or whatever together. Needs to have sense of humor and handle sarcasm well (must pass sarcasm test as part of pre-qualification screening). Must like to cook and get together for dinner and hang out. Prefer someone who is married or at least in a committed relationship so my husband has someone to hang out with too, but willing to negotiate (my husband has single friends who can blind date). But the right person would be funny, patient, give great advice, inform me when I'm being unreasonable, and be there when I need a shoulder to cry on. She must love my husband and my fur babies like they were her own, and she must always be willing to get up at 3am drive to an undisclosed location and dig a hole approximately 3 feet wide by 7 feet tall and not ask any questions while doing so.
Happy Friday!

Sunday, April 24, 2011

National Infertility Awareness Week

Today begins National Infertility Awareness Week. 1 in 8 men and women will be diagnosed with infertility.

Those are some pretty staggering numbers. It affects so many people, and it's often the disease that's overlooked. Everyone understands the devastation and struggle of cancer, diabetes, and heart disease, but so many people don't view infertility as a real problem.

Often those who suffer are given advice and offered suggestions on how to get pregnant and make things work for them. This week, I'll be posting a few blogs about how many myths there are associated with infertility, as well as sharing my own personal story, which you have typically only gotten glimpses of.

It's going to be an emotional week around here. So because I'm about to bare my soul for the world to see, I have a couple of things to ask.

1. Please pray for the women and men who are talking to lawmakers this week about making it mandatory for insurance companies to cover infertility treatments.
2. Please pray for the millions of couples who do this everyday. For the failed treatments, the miscarriages, the failed pregnancies, for the every day struggle and heartache that they deal with.
3. Watch this video. It will give you amazing insight into what someone who struggles with infertility goes through on a daily basis.
4. Be patient with me. This week is going to bring up lots of emotions and memories of the years of treatments and the daily struggle that my husband and I still have with this issue.

Friday, April 22, 2011

5 Question Friday

Yes, I'm actually making a post. Trust me. I have written several over the last few days, I just haven't posted them because they have been very tacky regarding my in-laws. I've been trying to take the high road, so far it's working. But it might not next week. Sometimes it really bites, trying to be a better person.

2 weeks from Tuesday (May 10) I will take my last final for this semester. I'm not really thrilled with my grades, but for my first semester I think that I'm going to be pleased. I'm not going to summer school, so that will give me a nice break before I have to start the fall semester. I'm afraid it's going to kick my butt.

Have a Happy Easter!

1. What is your favorite Easter tradition?

We really don't have an Easter tradition. But we don't have kids, and as far as some of the non-religious festivities go there is no need to have any other traditions. Although, every now and then the Easter Bunny does stop here and leave care packages for the kidlets we know.
2. Are you a "shower" or a "long, hot bath" kind of person?

I like showers when I am getting up and getting ready to face the day. When I need to unwind, I like baths. Even though it's been years since I have taken a bath. (mostly because our bathtub now is sucky). So I guess I'm both. Just depends on the mood I'm in.
3. Can you parallel park and if so when is the last time you did it?

Yes, I can parallel park. Um...probably when I took my driving test approximately 15ish years ago. I avoid it at all costs. Because I live in Texas, and people here drive big trucks. And they take up lots of space. And they can block you in. So I don't parallel park. But I could, if I wanted too.
4. What is your favorite Easter candy?

Speckled Jelly Beans. But Hop ruined it for me. I bought a bag, and ate like 4 jelly beans out of it, and my husband reminded me that they were bunny poop, and that quickly made it impossible to continue to chew. Just wait, I'm going to ruin something for him.
5. Easter: do you go all out with the Easter Bunny or focus on the religious part of the holiday?

Both. I believe that you can do both, as long as you teach your kids that the religious part takes priority over the bunny part. We did both as a kid, and if I had children, I would do the same. Sometimes it's about having the same traditions and experiences that I had as a kid and passing those on to my nieces and nephews and cousins.

Have a beautiful Easter! Remember that it's not all about the Easter Bunny.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Yesterday after reading Baron's Blog, the words were flowing. Yet today after learning that a family whom I grew up with has lost their 23 year old son to a tragic accident, make it hard to find the words for anything.

I was married at 23. That's something that he will never experience. His life had really just began and it was over in almost the same instant. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child. I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a sibling.

Yet in the same moment there was joy. Because that's how life works. His family knows where he will spend his eternity. There is joy and peace in that.

So today, my request is simple - say a prayer for that family. For the parents who lost their baby. For the brother and sister who have lost a baby brother. For the nieces and nephews who will grow up without his continued wonderful influence. For the grandparents who recently celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary and their 90th birthdays, who will be burying their grandson this week. Say a prayer for the rest of us who are trying to find peace and understanding at why such an incredible young man's life was cut so short. Then call your brother, sister and parents and be thankful that they are just a phone call away and not facing the alternative that this sweet family is.

~While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet him behind the veil. ~John Taylor

Monday, April 4, 2011

Lost...and found

I have struggled since I started at Tech to continue to write this blog. I have seriously thought about having a copy turned into a book (because I have written a few awesome posts) and then shutting the whole thing down, permanently removing myself from the blogging world.

My reasons for doing this was time. Or so I thought. That's what I have been telling myself anyway. Well, that among other things. I have said that I can't relate to a 30+ year old anymore, and I don't relate to the college students that I mostly surrounded by each day.

I keep getting these emails about college life and adjusting to your first semester and yadda-yadda. About how college is hard and how this is a time that many people "find" themselves.

Hello - I'm 31 years old, I have been found for a while now. Or so I thought.  Don't get me wrong, the nerd in me loves all of the things that I am learning. About Wednesday of Spring break I was ready to go back to school. I had all of the break that I cared to.

However, the self conscious person in me, hasn't been prepared for how unworthy and how much I stood out would make me feel. See my resume should say things like "doesn't like talking to people she doesn't know", "doesn't like standing out in a crowd", "doesn't like being put on the spot", "doesn't make friends easily".

This isn't anything new, I have been this way my entire life. I start second guessing myself and I start thinking things like "I'm so old that I don't get Pokemon". "I'm so fat that all these people are staring at me", "I'm so stupid, why did I ask that question?"

Going back to college has done a lot for me as far as believing in myself with starting something and sticking through with it. I wanted to go back to school, so I did what I needed to, in order to put myself in this position. That makes me feel like I'm more capable of doing anything that I have given myself credit for. I feel good about what I am capable of doing. I've also discovered what they mean about college being the time that you find yourself.

I have been taking out of my comfort zone, which has affected my entire life. My marriage has taken a few hits since January, my relationships with other family has changed, and I didn't realize how this whole process was going to change me. I haven't realized how different this would make me look at the world at at myself.

There are days that I laugh at the level of naive-ness that abounds there. They think that they are going to graduate and life is going to be all roses, they have no idea how quickly their life can change and some of the hardships that they will face before they turn 30. They don't know that they will have their house and their 2.5 kids, they think that they will marry the guy that they have dated for the past 3 years. There are a few that are right, and there are so many who will face things that some can't even begin to imagine. Life will get in the way, and some might not even finish their degree. Yet they are all so full of hope and energy and great ideas and dreams of how they are going to change the world, and some of them will. They can't imagine how immature they are, and how unprepared they are, even though they think that they are such big, bad adults.

I assumed when I joined the ranks at Tech that I would be teaching, offering my experience to the "kids", yet know I see how seriously wrong that I was. I didn't realize how much this little endeavor was going to require of my thinking, my perspectives, and my heart. For someone who has always been self-conscious, college has just magnified those feelings of how "un" I am. Someone else is everything that I'm not, smart, beautiful, capable, thin, funny...the list goes on and on. It's like high school, except minus the drama.

So I got lost. I started thinking about how little I had to offer to these people, about how much smarter and easier they make everything look. How much younger and thinner and smarter and prettier they all were than me. How I didn't really have anything to offer to them or to a future employer. Who was I kidding? I was worse than a joke. So I got seriously lost, and my damn GPS kept telling me I was on an uncharted road. Ya think?!

Then, I got on facebook yesterday and a high school friend posted a link to a blog that a football player at Tech wrote. I'm not a sports person, but man can this guy write. I highly recommend opening up his blog and if you read nothing else, read When Ripples Collide. Then scroll all the way down and read my comment.

I will admit that I haven't been honest with anyone around here, especially me. I do have a lot to offer, to you, to me, to the "kids" at Tech. I have a voice, and I just need to remember that my own actions screw that up, not others. That I am everything that I have always been, I just need to use my voice.

So my question for you today is this - think about your own ripples. Whose life are you changing today? Whose life are you saving today?

Yesterday, I saved my own. Along with several others whose ripples have affected me. Yesterday, I found my voice.

~Men, like nails, lose their usefulness when they lose direction and begin to bend. ~Walter Savage Landor

~People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself. But the self is not something one finds, it is something one creates. ~Thomas Szasz


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