Thursday, March 17, 2011

Public Service Announcement

This was written in response to an email that I recently received in my inbox, that most definitely should have gone in my spam folder. I have no idea who Celina Janis Mccarthy is personally, that was just the email address that the email came from, so please don't wish evil thoughts on me if she is your sisters, cousins, brothers, little sister's mother twice removed.

Dear Celina Janis Mccarthy,

     Thank you for your recent email. I was so very flattered that you think I'm cute. Every girl can use a confidence boost from a complete stranger, it's good for the ego. However, I am concerned because you say that we have a mutual friend, and I'm not sure that we do. See, I don't have many friends that have this particular email address, so I'm sure that there is some sort of misunderstanding.
     As appealing as the naughty fun that you say you want to have with me sounds, I'm not really into girls. Now, if your name was Kenny Chesney, John Cena, Nick Stokes, or Morgan on Criminal Minds I would really be interested in a phone number and definite contact with you. However, since you are Celina Janis, I'm assuming that you are of the female gender (and slightly hopeful that she is just your slutty sister whose email address you are borrowing, and if so call me!) and that most definitely doesn't float my boat, I'm afraid that I will have to pass.
     I appreciate your candor and honesty that you don't care if I'm in a relationship or not and specifically ask if I am interested in naughty fun on the side. I'm glad that you won't tell. That just means that we can use my husbands toothbrush to clean the grout around the toilet and I won't have to worry about you telling him, because I'm pretty sure that one day the puppies are going to turn on me. But I don't want another body to have to bury if the secret were to come out, so I guess I just can't have the "fun" that you keep suggesting we could have together. Now perhaps your idea of "naughty" fun involves something else like cleaning without gloves on but after thoroughly reading your email, I'm sure that your naughty fun includes things that my husband wouldn't approve of and something more that a "lady of the night" would.
     I was a little confused by the user id that you gave me to seek you out. But then I realized that Handjobgirl probably stands for some type of hand model. Which lotion do the professionals like yourself use? Maybe I could try it, because my cuticles are a mess. I know that I always use a nickname or something for a user id, perhaps when I graduate with my degree in accounting I can change that up and use my profession instead. How does Audityourassets sound? Catchy isn't it?
     Then the final cutting blow, Celina Janis Mccarthy, you told me to search for 30 or older on a particular site, now I know that I'm above 30, but I seriously don't look it, so that kinda hurt my feelings. Why would I have an age restriction on my friends? I am surrounded by 20 year olds on a daily basis and they are, for the most part really great. (I was a little worried that you accidentally gave me the wrong link, because I got some XXX rated website when I clicked on the link, and I know that your momma wouldn't approve of that sort of stuff, so I figured it was just your dirty uncle going through your email again.) Once again, I'm not into girls, and I'm all for the wild. I lived dangerously just this morning when I used coffee creamer that expired yesterday, and I'm pretty sure when I cook dinner tonight I will not wear an apron. I'm not sure how much more wild you want me to be. I'm trying to be more wild, I bought non-organic spinach for my lunch today.
     So Thank you Celina Janis Mccarthy for your email and the offer for the naked pictures, but at this time I will have to pass. I'm hoping that you find this letter in your search for true love or your search for more inboxes to hit with spam. Please know that it's nothing against hand models (even though they kinda creep me out), it's just a bad time for me. I'm really focusing on me right now. It's not you. It's me.
     I'm sorry to be so harsh, but this is just the way it has to be. Good luck to you Celina Janis Mccarthy, I hope you spam every email inbox in America, and then I hope you go global after that, because I know you have potential.


PS. I would really like to know about the hand lotion!!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Just what every man needs. Brings a whole new meaning to: (insert lots of heavy breathing)
"Luke, I am your father."

Has anyone seen this? Is it a good movie?

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


I have a variety of people around me who are married, have a boyfriend/girlfriend that they have been together for a long period of time, and those who are single, and I'm always amazed at the stuff that I hear and how it compare to my own relationship with my husband.

I have been married for 11 years and my husband and I dated 7 months before we got married. Quick, absolutely. But we were sure. Obviously we did something right somewhere.

Now don't get me wrong, we have our share of problems, and we have had a few doozies over the years. My husband has a bad habit of not telling me when he is stressed out and instead he doesn't tell me stuff (or keeps secrets) that just gets him into a whole heap of trouble with me.

We fight, we make up, we move on. Yet for the most part I think that we have a good relationship. I don't feel like I have to keep secrets from him (and he better quit doing it to me or I just might have to find him in a dark alley and beat him up). We don't make decisions without talking things over with each other first. We don't buy expensive items, or even lots of inexpensive items and not tell each other. Even though our sex life has suffered since I went back to school, things are still good and actually according to most of the people we know in relationships and info that they have volunteered, above average amongst our friends and family.

Yet since I have started school I realize now how much more work our relationship takes. We are still spending time together, but so much of it now involves me studying and doing homework, whereas we used to spend most evenings together just watching TV and hanging out. So instead of just being together now like we were, we have to both be more open to communicated and talking about things than we were. We are forced to make time now. And amazingly so, I don't like that. I miss the openness and lack of forced "quality" time that we spent together.

I know that this is just an adjustment period and that we are both trying to find a way to fit our marriage into the current situation.

It's just like everything else, some days we do great and others we fail miserably.

It makes me appreciate the time we get together and make the most of it, instead of just letting the time pass us by. It reminds me about how special all those moments are, even if they come at odd times. It reminds me to never take any of it for granted.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Spring Break

The reality has set in that for the next 8 days homework is optional. I say only 8 considering that I have to actually work on homework before I go back to school on the 21st. I have a book to read a chapter out of and business calculus homework to work on.

But not to worry, that's what I'm planning on doing at work.

Yeah, I know that's messed up in several ways, but I can't help it that I'm efficent and that I can work and write blog posts and do homework. It takes all kinds of talent.

However, I have recently discovered that I miss Spring Break as a kid. Mostly because I won't get to stay at home all week and play with barbie dolls. How messed up is that?

Or, perhaps the question should be how messed up am I that I want to do that?

Friday, March 11, 2011

5 Question Friday

It's official. I have survived. I have made it halfway through my first semester. I have never been more excited about getting a week off from school in my entire life. Trust me. I'm exhausted. I have wrote papers and studied for exams all week, that it's going to take me a week to recoup. Bad news is, that I have homework to do over Spring Break. I'm pretty sure that wasn't part of the deal, but it's the reality.

So tonight I'm going out to dinner with my husband and drink a margarita or 2 and then I'm going to go home and do Economics homework. Because I'm sure that's what the rest of the people in my class will be doing.

Next week, you get actual posts, and I'm going to be doing some other things around here, facebook (I have had a page their for weeks, just no time to set it up and Twitter.) You are so very welcome.

Have a gorgeous Friday and an even better weekend!

1. Do you know what your REAL hair color is?

My head says Brown, but my heart says Blonde. My heart also says I have blue eyes, even though my driver's license and other legal documents say Brown. But what do they know?!?

My hair is brown. I don't dye it, I'm not really sure why, but I don't. I would like to get it highlighted and low lighted and in between lighted, but I'm chicken. One bad experience will do that to you. So I keep my chocolate lab look. With curls.
2. Do you plan ahead for summer, or fly by the seat of your pants?

I plan ahead for it. I count the days down, then I stay home and go nowhere. We really don't plan trips during the summer. We wait until the kidlets are all in school, and then we go. Hotels are cheaper, gas is usually cheaper, tickets to most places are cheaper. So we go during the off season.

This year my summer planning involves which classes I'm taking. Because like it or not, I will be attending summer school.

3. What is your favorite meal to cook?

Anything and everything. I love to cook, and I don't have a particular favorite meal. When I'm in the mood to cook, I like to be a little more extravagant and cook something a little more fancy than tacos, like risotto. But there isn't one thing that I look forward to making.
4. Do you get offended by not receiving thank yous?

Yes and no. Baby shower, wedding gifts, and graduation gifts - absolutely. Just because or birthday gifts. Nope. I always personally call and thank for just because and birthday gifts because they didn't have to do that. My husband's grandparents require that you send them for every "gift" that they send. Which I hate to do, especially for a card and a check for under $30.
5. How did you meet your best friend?

My bestest friend and I have been friends since 1st grade. I'm not sure how we met, but we have been friends since then. I know we had the same teacher, and in the 80's that was all it took. We live further apart than I would like, but it probably keeps us out of trouble. She is great and has a great family that was my "other" family too.

Happy Friday!

Friday, March 4, 2011

5 Question Friday

It's been a long week. I had a meltdown in my marriage, and amazingly so a lighter homework week. Although this weekend and next are going to be crazy gearing up for Spring Break. It's like all these professors have to cram 2 weeks worth of knowledge into 1, so that all the beer that is consumed over spring break only kills off 1 weeks worth of brain cells.

I'm looking forward to the time off from school, but it's a little weird to think that my first semester is almost over, and finals will be here before I know it. I'm ready for this semester to be over, because it means that I will be one step closer to graduating, and having a new job.

1. Have you ever forgotten your child in a store or at school?

Hmmm, maybe that's why I don't have children.

2. Where did you go on your very first date? (Like...first first, not first with your spouse or current significant other!)

The Prom. I went with a very, very good friend, whom I had hoped would end up with something more out of, but we ended up just being friends, and we still are today.

3. What's your "silly" fear? (We're not talking water and heights.)

Bugs. I hate bugs. I hate them crawling on me, I hate moving a box and them running out from underneath it, I hate them crawling on me. I hate bugs. If they were all to disappear off the face of the earth, I wouldn't complain. Especially if they took Grasshoppers with them. Because they are evil and should be destroyed.
4. Confrontation: do you cause it, deal with is as it comes, or run far far away?

I try to deal with it as it comes. I like everything out in the open, everyone gets over it faster and moves on. My mom has always said that I like to fight and that's why I have this "get it on" mentality when it comes to confrontations. It's not that, it's just that I would rather deal with it, and move on.

5. Wood floors or carpet?

I have carpet and tile. I want wood.  I dream of wood floors. I don't care if I have to dust them on a daily basis. Carpet, like grasshoppers is pure evil. Bugs live there, dead skin cells, pet funk. It's just a breeding ground for yuckiness.

Sorry you guys didn't get awesome responses today, I'm tired, and there is just a lot running through my mind today. The good news is I have some great posts for you next week, as well as the week of spring break. Happy Friday!


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