Evil, Horrible Daughter - in - law

I had hoped that time would work. I had hoped that Papa's drawn out illness would work. I had hoped.

But, I had a feeling that it wouldn't. I had a feeling that things would go back to the same, once my mother-in-law, the matriarch of that particular family had returned. Unfortunately I was right.

I'm back to being evil and avoided. Sometimes I really don't understand family. I don't understand how they can think that they can push me away and have their son in their life too. It hurts him just as much, if not more than it does me. My parents haven't always loved John and the choices that he has made, but they have respected them, and they have kept their mouth shut, and they have at least treated him with some form of courtesy, some form of decency.

I can't make them love me, I can't make them like me. But I would hope that they were all raised to at least be nice to me. Instead, when I speak, what I say is glossed over. Like I never said it. They probably would have preferred that I said nothing at Papa's memorial. Instead of reading this. They probably wish I hadn't shown up.

I can speculate for days.

But instead of a turning point in a relationship. I learned that today, my mother-in-law buys her Scentsy from someone else. Simply for the fact that she doesn't have to see me. I'm not surprised, I'm not even that hurt by it anymore (contrary to the ranting I have been doing). What bothers me the most is that everyone else follows suit. If my mother in law doesn't approve, then John's brother and sister can't either.  They are ruining their relationship with their son, and they don't even see it. That's what bothers me.

Papa's death has left regrets with many. I don't want them to wake up in a few years and regret the choices that they have made. I don't want them to keep pushing him away. He too, has realized that things are back to "normal". No more texts, no more calls, no more.

One day, there will be no more. Now, that's a text message I would love to send, broadcast to a family. They won't live forever, their won't be a good time to "fix" their relationship. We won't live forever either.

Now, the only thing left to do is wonder. What happens from here?