Happy Birthday

Today is my 32nd birthday. I have managed to add another candle to my cake.

I have debated for days about what I was going to write about, yet as I stare at the blinking cursor I'm know that what I'm writing wasn't what I had planned. But those posts always end up being my favorite, probably because they come from my heart.

So let me impart some wisdom from the last year.

The past year has been full of suck. I knew that at some point we would have to say goodbye to more grandparents, it would be inevitable. It's that whole grand design of things. Yet, in my wildest dreams or worst nightmares I wouldn't have imagined that we would say goodbye to 2 grandfathers in the same year, let alone 3 months apart. I wouldn't have believed you if you could predict the future.

I would have been seriously wrong.

Then in between that we had to say goodbye to a dog.

And if your not an animal lover, right now you are thinking I'm crazy that "it's just a dog". But Bailey was so much more. He reminded me that there were things more important than homework and making sacrifices to get my degree. He reminded me that sometimes you have to dig out the microscope to find the good in others, but some microscopic amount can always be found. He was so abused and unloved that whatever microscopic amount of love we would dole out he was just enamoured with. He simply wanted to be loved. He was easy to love. He lived with us for over a year, and barked only once.

I hadn't wanted a big fuss for my birthday this year. Partly because of homework and the chaos that is currently my life. But today, I'm realizing the value of celebrating, because next month we will celebrate birthdays with out the birthday people and then again in February. And come October 9th, I would give anything for just one more birthday celebration with those people who aren't here anymore.

So instead of going to a study group and spending my birthday with complete strangers, I'm staying home and studying for an economics test with my husband instead. Because let's face it, we aren't promised another day and if something were to happen to me I wouldn't want John's last birthday memory be of me spending the night at the library and him at home alone. And if the situation were reversed, I don't want that to be last memory either.

Plus after the past year I think its more important today than any other to celebrate. Life is hard enough and short enough that we should celebrate everything, bad grades on economic tests included.

So tonight forget the scale, forget the calories, forget the season premiers on television, and forget the homework and have a piece of cake with someone you love tonight. Simply because you don't know if it will be your last or theirs. Because tonight, I would have given up every birthday present in the world, if I could have had a birthday dinner with Papa, Gangie, Darlin and even Bailey just one more time.

Now, I'm off to study for an economics test and hug my husband. Because I'm pretty sure that today has been an incredible day, made that way by my husband.