Thursday, October 28, 2010

Almost Wordless Thursday

You should be appreciative that today is Thursday.  You almost got pictures instead of words.  I'm still a little freaked out, and I really feel like hunkering down somewhere and trying to regain my bearings.

I submitted my application today.

It's too late now.

I'm freaking terrified.

I figured that this wouldn't be a big deal, that they won't reject me.  Yet, as I started to fill out that application, I began to wonder.  What will happen if I don't get in?  Oh crap.

Well THAT thought hadn't ever occurred to me.  But I started to have these racing thoughts, and probably a racing heart and high blood pressure too.  Things like : They will think I'm too old.  I'm too immature (I might have been slightly sarcastic on the 2nd essay).  I put too much info on the essays, I didn't put enough.  I need a margarita.  They will know I need a margarita and think I'm a party girl.  They will tell me that I have to live in the dorm and my husband won't like that. Hell, I won't like that.

Needless to say, today, I simply verified the information, made sure it was correct, didn't even open my essays up and re-read them for the 30th time.  I just paid my money and clicked send.  And held my breath.

I'm pretty sure I'm not breathing right now either.

I'm sure that I'm stressing over nothing, that they are going to send me a letter begging me to join them.  At least I'm hoping that is what happens.

I bet right about now, you are really wishing that I would have kept my freak-out to myself and posted pictures.  Don't worry, when I log in tomorrow to make a post, I'm going to wish the exact same thing, just a day later than you.

Those doubts just made me realize how badly that I want things to work out.  That this is so much more important to me than I first realized.  I just hope that God and I are on the same page and His plans are my plans.  Then again, I'm pretty sure that the saying goes something like, I make plans and God just laughs.

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