Tuesday, January 4, 2011


Believing hear, what you deserve to hear:
Your birthday as my own to me is dear...
But yours gives most; for mine did only lend
Me to the world; yours gave to me a friend.

Cue cheesy Friends intro.

Sorry, with a title like that I just had to do it. Besides, when your crying later you will appreciate the gesture.

My friend Andrea lost her childhood friend Leslie last Wednesday. The day before Thanksgiving. Andrea is a year or so older than I am and they had been friends since they were just little tykes.

I can relate. I have a friend that I have known since kindergarten. We have been friends for 27 years. I can't imagine her not being a part of my life. Andrea is having to find out the hard way how to do that.

My husband lost both of his grandfathers this year, within just months of each other. Both had health problems, when it came down to it, one was inevitable, the other was a surprise. Both hurt him tremendously.

Unfortunately in life there is no owners manual that tells you how to deal with a problem like this. There is no manual that tells you it's ok to grieve and for how long, and that it's ok to have a breakdown in the middle of Tar-get on a Tuesday night. Or in the middle of Wally world when you see a display of chocolate covered cherries.

I would like to tell my husband and Andrea that contrary to popular belief and the way that they feel at that exact moment goes away. That sharp pain because dull, and then after a while it throbs less and less frequently. The bad news is, it never completely goes away. Contrary to what other people tell you. That was the hard part for me to understand.

I thought that by now, knowing that my grandfather has been gone for 8 years that I wouldn't tear up when I saw that display of chocolate covered cherries. I would love to say that my heart doesn't ache when I work on rebuilding his navy scrapbook, I would love to say that I can look at his picture on my dresser from our wedding day and not wish that he was still around. How I would love to be able to talk to him about some of the things that I hear at school and about some of the things that I see at work. Yet, I'm going to have to wait until I get a trip to heaven to accomplish that.

As I think about Andrea dealing with the loss of her friend, I'm comforted by the fact that she know has a beautiful guardian angel who is saving her a seat in heaven, for when they get to meet again. I hope that she can find some comfort in that.

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