Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Extended Vacation

It all started out innocently enough.  I was simply going to take a week off.  Then one week led to two and that led on into week 3. 

So much has been going on, and yet at the same time so little.  I think that mentally I have been trying to gear up for the changes that are coming.  For the changes that I really can't prepare for.  Sure, I know that starting school will change things with my job, and with my home life, but even though I have tried to anticipate those changes, I haven't really been able to do so.  I haven't been able to do much - other than try not to panic.

There have been so many unanswered questions - and then more questions.  I was worried about my job - turns out I didn't need to be.  I am worried about how these changes are going to effect things around my house.  I would bet that they will all work out just fine.

As ready as I thought I was, I find myself doubting my own abilities.  I'm so afraid that I'm going to fail.  I'm so afraid that I'm going to disappoint someone.  Ok, I'm more afraid that I'm going to disappoint myself.  I'm so afraid that I'm going to graduate and get a job and discover that this wasn't really what I wanted or even worse - that I suck at it.

Either way, I have to suck it up and just live with it, and try to make the best out of it.  Because ready or not, tomorrow at 12:00pm, central standard time, I will be sitting in my first class at Tech.


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