Thursday, February 24, 2011

Writing Papers Fries Your Brain

I have wanted to get back into the groove of writing blog posts, and I think that I have some great ideas until I actually sit down to do it, and then the words just won't come out.  I think about all of the other stuff that I "should" be doing (like the Economics homework I should be working on instead of typing this) and I just can't think of anything to say that doens't involve whining about school.

And frankly I'm tired of whining about school.

I just want to remember that my life doesn't (even though it kinda does) revolve around school.  I feel like you guys are tired of listening to it.  Then I got to thinking.  I'm the one who decided that my life begins at 30, and part of "finding" out who am I involved this blog.

This blog has helped me discover things about myself that I didn't know, or that I had long forgotten. It's also let me discover new things about myself, some that I could have done without and others that are probably vital but that suck at the same time.

This is a big step in my life. It means that I am finally moving on from Plan A. I'm making a new future that isn't the one that a part of me still wants. I'm trying to step out of my shell and talk to people I don't know and maybe not make new friends, but at least make the effort to get to know people. I'm working on Plan B, and I'm sure that before I'm all done there will be a Plan C, D, and E.

Because that's just how life works. I have been so overwhelmed lately and I overheard a conversation one day about how God never gives us more than we can handle. Which I agreed with, until she said, sometimes life hands us something that we just aren't prepared for.  Well crap.  She had a point.

I can handle just about anything. I have been there done that, and there are a few things that I haven't dealt with yet, but I feel like I could if I had too. That's because God is standing behind me, patting me on the shoulder telling me that I can do it. Then on the other shoulder I have this mini version of me, telling me to dream on. So instead of just trying to focus on one voice more than the other, I'm trying to listen to both. It's important to keep dreaming, and it's important to have the faith in myself that God has in me. He thinks I can do it, so I need to have faith that I can.

So I did what any self respecting person does; hired a tutor.

And told the negative version of me to stuff a sock in it.

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