Monday, February 28, 2011

The Breakfast of Champions

I have recently decided that Poptarts and Diet Dr. Pepper is the breakfast of champions (and college students).

See, I'm not a morning person. My alarm doesn't go off, and I jump out of bed ready to tackle the day.  That doesn't happen at my house.  Let me give you a little taste of a Monday - Friday morning at my house.

Monday, Wednesday, and Friday I got to work before I go to school. So I don't have to get up until 6:50. However, I have "snooze" time set into my alarm time. BC- before college, I would get up about 7:10, or sooner if the bladder made me do it. AC-after college, I'm lucky if my butt is hanging off the edge of the bed by 7:20.

My alarm goes off, and I quickly grab it and hit the snooze button.  Then, into the bed, under the covers it goes with me, because our room is about 2 degrees warmer than Antarctica. My husband calls this snuggling with the alarm clock. I call this, trying to talk the bastard into rewinding time so I can sleep for several more hours phase.  Then I go back to sleep for 5 minutes. And I do that repeatedly until the moment of doom, which I'm not really sure what time that is anymore, because some days I can get up at 7:30 and make it to work before I do on the days I get up at 7:20.

So I get up, I attempt to find my slippers so I can walk to the bathroom, in the meantime both eyes are shut, I'm groping about in the dark room, still trying to sleep, all the while doing the "pee-pee" dance, because that bottle of water 10 minutes before I went to bed, isn't such a good idea right about now.

I manage to make to the bathroom, and try to prop myself up against to the wall to continue to sleep while I pee. I have been known to not even turn on the light at this point. Attempting to get a few more Zzzzz's. However, at this point, it is now a good idea to turn on the lights, because taking a shower in the dark isn't a good idea, for safety reasons.  Especially when armed with a razor.

By now, I have taken a shower and deemed myself "awake", but it's under protest. I walk out of the bathroom and down the hall, and look at the clock and realize "@(#&(&, I only have 3 minutes before I should be in the bathroom applying makeup. (I have getting ready down to a specific, timed science.)

I quickly thrown on clothes, earrings, and shoes, grab my bag, and run down the hall, "drifting" around the corner to make it into the bathroom in record time to apply makeup and fix my hair. Then we grab the bag, and make a mad dash into the kitchen for water (because by now we feel like we have been running a marathon in the Sahara desert and haven't had water in weeks) and the dreaded poptart, so that I can attempt to get to work before 8 or before my boss does, whichever needs to happen first.

Then I get to work, and by that point, I figure that I might as well give up for the day, and wake up, I mean, geez, I'm at work now, it's probably not a good idea to nap.

Could I get up earlier and eat "real" food for breakfast? Probably so. Are the odds of this good at my house on any given day? No.

So I guess for the moment, I'm stuck with Poptarts and Diet Dr. Pepper. I can always eat "real" food on the weekends, when I get up at a reasonable time of 10am. Nothing good happens before then anyway.

Brown Sugar Poptarts and Diet Dr. Pepper - the breakfast of champions and tired college students.

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