Christmas Crazies

What is it that happens the day after Thanksgiving that makes the “crazies” come out? I would bet money that these people have been hiding under a rock the rest of the year and they only come out until the day after Christmas, then they go back to where they came from.

Let me explain. I have noticed in the last few weeks that there are more drivers out, more people in the grocery store, Target, Walmart, even the pharmacy. What I want to know is there a switch that is flipped that turns normal people into rude, inconsiderate people that I am immune to?

I have been hit with baskets, had people cut in line, elbowed, kicked, cussed out, nearly ran over, and the list goes on and on.

I almost want to take out a billboard, and buy a ton of ad space on every local TV station, and in the newspaper and remind people what we are really supposed to be celebrating.

I can assure you, as well as the rest of the “crazies” I have encountered, it isn’t about the presents, or the baking, or the decorating. It’s about so much more than that.

It’s about celebrating a birthday of a special baby, of a Savior. It’s about spending time with family and friends and renewing our faith in that tiny baby.

Maybe a big enough ad would remind some of those who have forgotten. Maybe they need to watch the old version of How the Grinch Stole Christmas, or read the book. Perhaps Dr. Suess was onto something after all.

~And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~Dr Seuss

5 Question Friday

Today, I'm so very thankful that it's Friday.  Wait, didn't I already do thankful posts.  Hmm, deja vu.  Weird.  Sorry, it's early on a Friday morning and my brain doesn't function correctly until at least noon.  Perhaps I should rethink the 8am class that I have scheduled myself for. 

This weekend is going to be busy (is there really any other kind?)  I have to go hunting for all the food for my graduation party.  I'll take pictures for you.  : )  Of course I can't post them, because I don't want anyone knowing who I am.  It's a win-win for both of us.  Then the usual course of cleaning, laundry, and a little making of fudge for the nuts my husband and I work with. 

Have a Happy Two Weeks Before Christmas Weekend!!
1. Do you open presents on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?


Usually we spend Christmas Eve with my family.  We start out at my Aunt Nita's where in the past we have drawn names.  This year we are doing boy/girl gifts.  Because I'm a girl I take a girl gift and because my husband is a boy he would take a boy gift, and if our dogs went, well, they would take anything that smelled like bacon.  Or like Scentsy's Toasted Sugar and Caramel scent.  They go banana's when I open the package.  But I digress.

Then we break so that my grandparents can go to church.  The rest of us are heathens.  After they get back from church, we go to their house and the present orgy continues.  Then we usually head to my parents and finish up the night there.  This year, we are starting things out a little earlier, so we have a different game plan.  Which is nice, hopefully it won't mean that we get home at 2am like in years past.  Christmas day is usually just a day where we hang around and be lazy.
2. What is your favorite Christmas cookie (or candy)?

My favorite cookie is snickerdoodles.  There really isn't anything that is made at Christmas that I wish I had year round.  Although I do look forward to my grandmother's hot chocolate, which is just Swiss Miss doctored up, and the wassail.  There are so many festive goodies that I really don't understand why some of them are only made at Christmastime.  Like fudge.  When is chocolate not a good time?

3. What's the worst Christmas gift you've ever received?

Oh goodness.  I've received some "odd" religious things from my aunt and uncle, who are Mormon.  My inlaws put little thought into gifts, and so I often get a blanket, or something that I don't really need or that doesn't match my decor.  I realize it's supposed to be the thought that counts, but the thought of standing in line to return it, or regift it doesn't really thrill me either.

4. Christmas song that you love?

Didn't I already answer this question a few weeks ago?  I like most Christmas music, there are some that they are stuck on and just keep playing that I'm starting to get really sick of.  Like "Baby, it's cold outside."  If you work where I do, it's cold inside, so what's your point.  I guess it means that I'm old, but I like the stuff better that I grew up listening too.  I miss those songs, not the new hip stuff that's ok the radio now.  I listen to primarily country music, and I miss Alabama, Trisha Yearwood, Garth Brooks, George Strait.  But I miss the old stuff, you know, from the 90ies. 



5. How many trees do you put up?

Only one.  But when I get my own house and don't have to move it, I want more than that.  Just one big one and a few small ones.  Nothing big.  Nothing fancy.  This year we vetoed the tree, so we didn't put up any.  Unless you count the Christmas Card I taped up last night with a tree on it.  That's all we are doing this year.  With both of us going to school and working full time, we decided that this year less is more.  So to the family reading this, please understand that mentality also took over your gifts too.  Less is more.  It also make take over the wrapping of said gifts.  Or you might get lucky and I'll wrap it in a plastic bag from Target.

To Party or Not to Party...That is the Dilemma

In 11 days I will officially have a college degree.  I will have an Associates Degree in Accounting.  Granted, it probably won't get me as far as I want to go, but I still think it is a big deal.  Yet, I feel that some of my family is thinking that I'm hyping things up more than I should.  Let me explain.

I went back to college in July of 2009.  I went to a local community college right out of high school for a year, but I was working full time, going to school full time, and just trying to juggle having a "life" that didn't revolve around work and school, and I was failing miserably - at all of it.  I was so burnt out at work, as well as at school, that when my financial aid fail through, I saw it as a sign, and I quit.  I took my finals and got married a week later.  It was rough.  It was never something that I had planned on permanently shutting the door on.  I just kinda pushed it half-way there, so that one day I could re-open that door and finish what I started. 

Quitting was hard, yet making the choice to go back was just as hard.  It was something that I have wanted for so long, yet just didn't know how to follow through with and do.  So here I am, and I have worked my ass off to get here.  I've missed out on spending time with family because of homework, I have walked around sleep deprived because I spent way to many nights in a row up trying to do homework.  Yet, since July, I have missed 1 day of work.  I requested a day off in October.  I have still managed to get laundry done, dinners cooked, cards sent, gifts bought, birthdays, anniversary's and other special days remembered, blog posts written, and the list goes on.  I have gone to the grocery store, and family dinners and birthday celebrations - often when I should have been at home doing homework.  I have cried tears of frustration when there just wasn't enough time in the day to get everything that I needed let alone wanted to get done.

So excuse me, if none of that seems important or like an accomplishment, but I made a lot of sacrifices and so has my husband, so that I can pursue this dream.  I would like to celebrate this step - no matter how small or insignificant that it might seem.  It's very, very important to me. 

I'm not asking that these people bring me anything, other than their presence.  (Although I will be accepting donations.  I owe about a billion dollars in student loans. Ha!)  I'm 31 years old, I don't need towels and pots or pans and the other "typical" graduation gifts.  I don't want them.  All I want is one night that I can have dinner with the people who have been the most neglected while I have pursued this.  One night that I can say "Thank you" for their patience, and their faith in my abilities; because these people kept me afloat and let me borrow their faith in myself when my own faith was running on empty.

Yet, I so often feel like this is an accomplishment that I shouldn't be celebrating.  That certain members of my family think I'm blowing things way out of proportion.  That my celebrations should be kept to myself and leave them out of it.

Yet, I'm hoping that they are willing to give up one night, for dinner with me so that they can celebrate this accomplishment.  Even if it means nothing but a free meal and a night out of the kitchen to them, it means so much more than that to me.


~There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. ~Orrin Hatch

~All that stands between the graduate and the top of the ladder is the ladder. ~Author Unknown

~Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference. ~Arie Pencovici

~When you leave here, don't forget why you came. ~Adlai Stevenson, to college graduates

~You are educated. Your certification is in your degree. You may think of it as the ticket to the good life. Let me ask you to think of an alternative. Think of it as your ticket to change the world. ~Tom Brokaw


~Don't live down to expectations. Go out there and do something remarkable. ~Wendy Wasserstein


~What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Waitstaff

My husband and I had dinner out a few days ago, and as we ate our dinner, I was reminded of something that really, really annoys me.  Waitstaff.  Ok, let me rephrase that - waitstaff that doesn't do their job - yet still expects a "tip". 

Where I work I get occasional bonuses for a job well done.  If sales are lagging, and I haven't been keeping on top on things like I should, those bonuses are significantly less, if I even receive them at all.  I am still paid my salary, but the additional "tips" I'm no longer getting.

I realize that because waiters and waitresses get tips that their salary is significantly less, and often even under minimum wage.  No, I haven't done work in this field either, these are just my thoughts.

When you do a good job, you get an equally pleasant tip.  Several weeks ago, we went to a local steak house and had dinner.  The waitress that we had that evening, was absolutely wonderful.  She made sure that are glasses were kept full, that we had plenty of rolls and butter, and that we didn't want for anything.  She was left a $10 tip. 

When we dined out at a few nights ago, I didn't leave the waiter a penny.  We saw him 4 times.  We waited 5+ minutes before he came out and got our drink order.  He brought out our drinks and took our food order, walking away before we could make a request for a different side dish.  He brought out our food, and we saw him for the final time, when he brought out our check.  We had wanted more to drink, yet he was standing over in a corner with some other waitstaff laughing and joking around instead of doing his job.  So his bonus or tip last night, wasn't that awesome.

I have heard so many different opinions on this subject.  Some people think that you should tip 15% regardless of the service.  My in-laws do it.  My parents, my husband and I don't tip unless we think that the service was "as it should be". 

Dining out is my night off from cooking.  It's supposed to be enjoyable.  I'm not supposed to have to get up and get a pitcher and refill my own glass (and yes, it has happened.)  I'm not supposed to have my food "thrown" across at a table at me either.  Thankfully I was paying attention, or the plate and food would have wound up in my lap and on the floor.  Yet, the people who have behaved and preformed their job this way still expected a tip at the end of the meal.  I wouldn't have gotten a bonus for not doing my job, why should they? 

I have been out with others and as they calculate the tip ask how much I'm leaving.  Then they are flabbergasted when I remind them that we have complained about the service all night - that I'm leaving them nothing. 

I have been to restaurants where they were understaffed, and the person serving us did the best they could with what they were given.  Did I leave those people a tip?  You bet.  Were our water glasses often empty, probably so.  But there is a difference between the two - this person was trying to keep everyone happy.  The other expected or even thought that they deserved a tip without putting forth the hard work.  I was raised that you don't expect anything - that in order to receive something like a tip, you first have to do work that is worthy of earning it.

Unfortunately it's a sad lesson that they will have to learn that life is full of hard work.  Waitressing isn't below anyone.  Any job is honorable - as long as it is done honorably. 


~The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. ~Arnold Toynbee



~There are no menial jobs, only menial attitudes.  ~William J. Bennett
 
~Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius
 
~It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.  - Niccolo Machiavelli
 
~What is it that you like doing?  If you don't like it, get out of it, because you'll be lousy at it.  - Lee Iacocca

Send

I finally took a leap of faith.  One that I should be terrified over, but instead, all I can find is peace and calm.

I finally clicked SEND.

I emailed my advisor with the University of Phoenix today.  I wrote the message over 2 weeks ago, I just haven't had the courage to press send.  I have gone into my email and re-read the message almost daily for 2 weeks.  Today, I finally hit send.

I have been so stressed and so worried about school and the future that I have been making myself crazy.  I have been so worked up about the not knowing that I finally made some serious decisions about what I could do to relieve my stress and hopefully find peace.

I'm not going back to Phoenix.  I feel like I have learned something, but it isn't where I want to end up.  I don't feel like it's the right place for me to finish out my degree.  I don't feel confident with how much information is crammed down my throat at a time that I can make it in the corporate world.  I will always be thankful for the starting point that they have given me.  For the self confidence that I have gained, that I am more capable than I give myself credit for.  They were just what I needed in order to gain the strength, courage and confidence in myself to keep going and finish what I started so many years ago.

I realize that Tech will provide it's own challenges, but I want to go to Tech.  Period.  I have gone back and forth about it in the weeks since I submitted my application.  Even as I write this post I find myself wanting to wonder and question whether or not I am doing the right thing.  I'm so afraid that this is going to come back and bite me in the butt.  Yet, just closing my eyes for a second and taking a deep breath, I realize that it will all work out in the end.  Maybe not the way I have in mind, but it will all work out.  I'm right where God wants me to be.

I don't know if I'm going to get into Tech.  I don't know if I'm going to have to quit a job I love so I can continue to pursue a dream.  I don't know if I'm going to lose a million pounds and be the next Victoria's Secret model.

I do know that I want to finish, but I also know that in less than 2 weeks, I will be a college graduate.  Something that I would have never dreamed possible.  I've made it this far, so the next 3-ish years should be a piece of cake.  I know that my husband and I are both aware of the sacrifices that this choice will require from both of us.  I'm willing to take a bigger leap of faith than I have ever done in order to see this through.

I know that no matter what happens God has big things planned for me.  Things that may or may not include Tech and other plans I have in mind for my future.  The funny thing is, today, I'm ok with that.  But ask me again tomorrow, because I'm pretty sure that tomorrow or next week, or in the next 5 minutes, I'm going to freak out again.  Then again, maybe I'll just have faith.  Faith in the unknown and  in the meantime I'll rest up for the next adventure.

~The quality of a university is measured more by the kind of student it turns out than the kind it takes in. ~Robert J. Kibbee


~Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it by the handle of anxiety, or by the handle of faith. ~Author Unknown

5 Question Friday

This week has been the longest one I've had in a while.  I spent the first of the week battling a sinus infection and those days of feeling icky led me to be behind on homework, housework, and life in general.  So I'm ready for a weekend, that will hopefully let me catch up a little now that I'm feeling more "normal".  Going to try to finish up my Christmas Shopping tomorrow, got a new washing machine being delivered sometime tomorrow.  And try to get in some cooking and homework.  Say a little prayer for my grandmother, she is in the hospital and very sick and the doctors are puzzled as to what is wrong.  Praying that they find answers soon, as we are all very worried about her.

1. What's on the top of your holiday wish list and why?!


Sure there are lots of things that I would like to have, but as I get older, the less I really enjoy the gift giving process.  We have so many people that we buy for that some years it just gets so much harder for me to put forth a huge effort into finding the "perfect" gift for others in our family.  I try to put forth effort and get something that the receiver will use and that won't be regifted.  Others in our family just go down the dollar aisle and throw random stuff in the basket, and you end up with things that are not useful and not desired.  I'm hoping that next year with certain members of our family that we can do something different.  There are still people out there in our family that put forth the effort, and that makes the celebration so much more special, than those who find it a burden.
2. What is your favorite Christmas gift from the past?

Hmm.  This is a tough one.  I don't really have one favorite year that stands out.  But I guess if I had to narrow down just one, I would have to pick the year that my grandfather lived with us.  I got to hear about Christmas mornings when he was growing up, and their own family traditions.  It was wonderful learning about him and his family and their own special traditions.


3. If you had life to do over, what would you be when you grow up?

I guess I am currently in the middle of my do-over.  Ever since I took an accounting class in high school I was in love with numbers.  I have wanted to be an accountant, and I'm in the middle of making that dream into a reality.
4. When do you put up your tree?

We usually put it up the day after Thanksgiving.  But this year we aren't putting one up.  With school, work, and everything else going on in our lives, we didn't want to have the burden of putting it up and taking it down. So we went the minimal route this year.  I miss having the tree, but I sure don't miss the stress that it would have entailed.

5. What is your favorite Holiday?

I don't really have a favorite, I decorate for them all.  Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Halloween, Valentine's Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, it doesn't matter.  If I had to narrow it down, my top 3 are Easter, Halloween and Christmas.  I miss doing that, and since we have lived with  my husband's grandfather, we really haven't gone all out and decorated like I usually do.  That's something I'm looking forward to when we move out.

Thanks Mama!  Have a good weekend!

Saying Goodbye

Several months ago, I was contacted on Facebook by someone I had managed to avoid for the last 8 years.

My father. At least on paper. Insert sperm donor joke here.

We played catch up. Well as much catch-up as one cares to share with someone whom they were leery of reconnecting with.

Facebook has been great. It has allowed me to get to know some of the classmates that I didn’t bother with in high school. It has allowed me to stay connected to family and friends and watch their children grow up and change. Yet, this was always something that was in the back of my mind that could happen, that he could “find” me.

As I emailed back and forth with Lee, a part of me wanted to see that he had changed, that the last eight years had brought some sort of growth to him, so that he would understand things differently. The other part of me was quite prepared for him to prove that he was still the same person he was the last time I saw him.

The more we chatted, the more I had hoped that we could build some sort of relationship. Probably not father-daughter like, but maybe we could be friends who happened to be related.

I sent the last message to him July 17th, inquiring about the type of surgery that my stepmother would be having in a few weeks. I’m still waiting for that response. Could I have sent another message? You bet. I figured I would give it a few weeks and see what happened. Actually I was waiting for my birthday. I figured that if he was serious about some sort of relationship that he would have made sure to send a message for my birthday. Instead I get nothing.

I would love to say that I’m hurt, or even disappointed, but the funny thing is, I’m not. I’m just saddened by the fact that this man is too concerned with his own life to really put forth the effort to try to have a relationship with me.  I'm sad that he made his choice, I'm sad that his previous choices have finally all caught up to him, and he is paying for the bad choices he has made where I was concerned.  He will miss out on so much.

Me, not so much.

See, my mom got remarried when I was 17. While my relationship with my stepfather was rocky when they first got married (I was 17, I thought I knew it all), he is more of a father to me than to the man whose name is on my birth certificate.

I’m sad that Lee will never realize what he is missing, and what he missed out on. Granted, my life isn’t that glamorous or exciting, but, on paper, I’m his child, and personally I wouldn’t care if my child sat in a padded room all day, I wouldn’t want to miss a thing.

I would like to say that I have regrets about this, but the choice has always been his.  He just so often chooses everyone else over me. 

~The people you hope will change don’t, and the people you hope won’t change, do.

~To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. ~Josh Billings

~Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. ~Robert Fulghum

~It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be. ~Homer