Dean's List

So I'm only like a month late, but I've been busy, you know doing homework. Trying to make the Dean's List next semester, again and probably failing misreably.

So yeah, I totally made the Dean's List. Barely, but it still counts.

I was walking out of History of Rock and Roll when I got the email. I had made the Dean's List. My very first semester in college in 12 years.

I needed that. I earned that. But I still needed it.

This semester I have been bogged down. I'm still trying to deal with losing Papa, which hit me a lot harder than I anticipated. Plus I have October to deal with and that reminds me of the grandparents that celebrate birthday's this month, that I'm celebrating without them. And Christmas and with the past few months of family issues with the in-laws, this semester has been draining. Physically, mentally and emotionally.

Last semester was draining too, but it was more a "I'm too old, too fat, too stupid, to be going to college". It was hard on someone who doesn't like doing things alone to, in fact learn how to do things alone. It was hard learning how to ask for help. It was awesome seeing the final grades, knowing that I had survived my first semester.

Yet this semester, I don't enjoy many of my classes. They aren't things that interest me, I don't like most of my instructors, and I find myself having a "I don't care attitude". So that reception, that honor, meant a lot to me. It proved to me that I can do anything I want to do. Anything. All I have to do is...do it.

So many of my friends made the Dean's list and blew off my accomplishment, as "no big deal". But to someone who hadn't stepped foot inside a classroom in 12 years, to someone who worked full time and went to college, it was a big deal. It is a big deal. And I earned it.

I went to the cheesy reception and all. I got my gorgeous certificate and I'm very proud of it, and the hard work it took to get there.

Hopefully it won't be my only cheesy reception. I'm hoping to be sitting in that seat next semester. So I probably better go hit the books.