Friday, June 21, 2013


It's been a tough few months around here and an awesome long weekend away thrown in for good measure.

I'm certainly feeling less....lost. As much as I hated to admit I even needed them, the anti-depressants are helping. I'm starting to enjoy life again. I didn't realize how much I'd missed cleaning until the last few weeks. I've been cross stitching, and reading, and sewing, and I'm happy about it. I don't feel like it's being forced on me. I'm finding the joy and relaxation in it that I had missed out on for so many months. I'm still not ready to go back to school, but I hope to be more enthused about that when it gets a little closer.

I'm still suffering from some abdominal pain from the c-diff. Man, that is some crappy stuff. Literally and figuratively. Thankfully, the pills that the specialist gave me to help reduce the inflammation in my colon have gotten their act together and are in fact, working. I've had less pain the last few days, and I'm hoping this trend continues. I'm still having to be so very, very careful about what I eat, too much fiber, not enough fiber, too much grease, not enough grease, too much veggies, not's a very, very fine line. And when I don't walk the tightrope, I pay for it. I don't sleep as well, I don't feel as well. I'm still very, very tired, and I keep hoping that pushing myself to get some additional exercise will stop that, but it seems to just exhaust me more. I keep trying to remind myself, often, that 18 months is the average to get over c-diff, and that's without complications like I keep having. 18 months. It's been two.

Patience should be like money and grow on trees. Life would be so much simpler. Until someone stole your money and patience off your tree.

I've written tons of post the last month, I'm just trying to find the right time to post them. Some of them seem so...lost. I'd like to go back and re-write them and let the less crazy version of me come through. There's enough crazy on the internet without me adding to it.

The good news is, I'm on the mend. Between the pills, and the prayers, I'm finally being put back together. I'm finding that I'm less heartbroken than I was a month ago. It's an improvement, one that I will certainly take.

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